Wow, it has been completely crazy at work the last two weeks. I am pleased to report that the time has been flying by and I can hardly believe that I am now 22 weeks pregnant! My second trimester has been largely uneventful. I am definitely growing a lot and it would be very hard to mistake my bump for just a big dinner or a beer belly anymore. It’s definitely a baby now. I am feeling the cutest little kicks and punches frequently throughout the day. In fact, yesterday, it was nearly all day long. The little one was very active.
My only real symptoms are pretty manageable. Every night I continue to suffer from a sharp pain in my ribs which I’m really hoping gets better rather than worse over the next couple of months, but my hopes aren’t too high on that. I also have a feeling of extreme fullness to the point of causing me shortness of breath following almost every meal, but particularly at night. I had my first leg cramp over the weekend, but it hasn’t happened again since then. I also have been having a great deal of trouble sleeping the last couple of nights, but again I hope that is temporary. None of these things cause me anywhere near the discomfort that I was experiencing in my first trimester with the morning sickness, so I’m a pretty blissful pregnant girl right now.
A couple of things that make me very nervous about the next few months are the increasing difficulty with minor things like bending over, putting on shoes, getting in and out of the car, etc. I realize these things are definitely not going to get easier as the baby grows and my abdomen swells to double and triple the size it is now.
We went to see our high risk specialist as well as the pediatric cardiologist last week. The pediatric cardiologist is recommended for all IVF babies, due to an increased risk in heart defects among them, but our report came back perfect and everything she could see at this point looked 100% normal. Our high risk exam also went very well. My placenta has moved out of the way of the cervix. My cervix is long, and closed and the baby is growing right on target with where he should be. Both doctors confirmed once again that this little one does indeed have boy parts, so I feel good to shop and start really accepting that we will be having a son. The bittersweet moment came when they released me back to my OB. I have so enjoyed being a patient in that practice. The doctors seem to really take the time to answer all your questions and they don’t seem like they are just pushing everyone through and collecting their payments like they do at the OB. I suppose since the cost of each visit is over $900, their ability to give the patient more attention makes sense, but I will miss them. On the other hand, I am extremely relieved that there is no reason to continue to see them.
My glucose test is coming up in two weeks and my parents are coming to visit that same weekend so I’m looking forward to that. My husband’s company is still very much in survival mode, but we have a better outlook on things than we did a couple of weeks ago. There is still very little chance for bonus payouts this year, but his salary shouldn’t have to be reduced and his job security is still good. I can’t complain about that.
That’s all for now!
About Me
- 30SomethingDINK
- I am a 30-something FORMER DINK (Double Income, No Kids) who welcomed our first child on August 1st, 2011 following many years of infertility. I am married to a wonderful (though somewhat work-a-holic) husband and daddy. This is my journal to help me stay sane through the trials of infertility, pregnancy and motherhood. We have unexplained infertility. After enduring IVF #1 failure, we miraculously became pregnant from FET #1, and we were overjoyed to welcome our little one August 1st of 2011.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Frustrations...
Today is really not a good day for me to update this blog because despite all the good things going on in my life right now, I’m writing this post to complain.
My husband has been working on a career transition. This transition involves taking on a leadership role that will ultimately better him professionally and give him much needed experience for the future leadership roles he plans to take on in larger companies as the years go on. This position has been fulfilling and enlightening on many levels. It does, however, come at a pay rate that is significantly less than he was making in Enterprise Sales. This is not entirely bad news since a large percentage of the compensation in a sales role is based on commission and while my husband has always been very successful, he also could never really count on that commission until deals were done, contracts signed, and clients were in the process of paying for the products and services he provided, whereas in his role today, he has a guaranteed income that is enough for us to live on for years to come as well as the potential for a bonus that is equal to a minimum of 25% of his overall salary based on company performance.
Unfortunately, yesterday his company abruptly lost its largest client and hence took a potential revenue hit of 30%. This forced the company to lay off many hardworking individuals to stay afloat and although my husband’s job security is not affected, his salary will be. There is little to no chance of actually realizing the bonus this year and he may potentially be asked to take a pay cut.
I feel that we are still incredibly lucky to both be employed, making relatively good salaries, but this is just so hard for me to handle right now. I wanted to be in a really good place financially when this baby is born. I feel a little guilty for complaining, because we are in a much better position than many people are. We also have the privilege of living in a lovely home on lots of land and having many nice things. The trouble is, none of that matters to me anymore. I just want to be good parents to our child and if my husband’s income potential decreases, I feel that mine will have to increase to provide for the family. In a way this is good, because I need a wake up call to get me out of this ridiculous job I am in now. I need to be doing more with my mind, my abilities and my experience. The scary part is, I feel very stuck. I am 20 weeks pregnant. There is no question I’m pregnant, and even if I could pass it off, I would feel very awkward applying for positions and not mentioning the fact that in a few short months I will be taking three months off. It sounds as though I am overly stressed about this, but I really am not, I am calm, (because we are well prepared for financial hiccups and we can survive long term on a new reduced salary) but I am also thinking about the options on a nearly constant basis trying to find the best answers.
Many people would say to cut our expenses. I have considered this option. The difficult part of this is that we are not in a position where we can’t pay our mortgage. We easily can pay our mortgage, we are just living on less that we would like. This makes it incredibly foolish to do something like sell our house right now at a time when the housing market is so damaged that we would likely lose money on our house. I think maybe the answer is that we just need to get used to not having a lot of the extras that we are used to until things pick back up and watch the little expenditures more carefully.
I suppose now might also be the time to have a confidential discussion with our Head of Research in my office. I need to begin looking at a career path again. I got caught up in a fantasy of taking advantage of this menial position by possibly working part time or some other solution to spend more time with the baby, but I think I will need to put in my 40 hours a week and collect my benefits, so that we can be the best parents possible when we are home with the little one. I really would like to move up to a different role here in my own company. It allows me the ability to stay on the same great benefits as well as the flexibility to make a move now or wait until after the baby is born. My concern is that an entry level Research position (which is likely what I am qualified for at this time) may pay less than I actually make now. Although the ultimate career path is more lucrative, there is often a pay decrease when moving from a high level administrative role to an entry level role even in a higher level job description. All those questions could probably be answered with a short meeting with our Head of Research, but that is a bit risky as well, since it would need to remain confidential. I need to make sure no one gets wind of the fact that I’m “unsatisfied” with my position. We are still very vulnerable to layoffs, so I don’t want to throw up a red flag that I might be a flight risk, particularly in my “condition”.
I wish I had all the answers. I wish I knew that my husband’s company would rebound effectively from this blow and in six months, he would be back on track to make the salary I know he feels the most comfortable with. Again, I am thankful for all the things we do have. I’m also VERY thankful that I am pregnant which, in a way, is the reason I have all these issues to worry about. We are still in a very stable financial position to raise a child. He just may not have the fancy stroller and furniture I was hoping for. I suppose I can attest to the fact that there is no correlation between nice baby things, and a happy child.
My husband has been working on a career transition. This transition involves taking on a leadership role that will ultimately better him professionally and give him much needed experience for the future leadership roles he plans to take on in larger companies as the years go on. This position has been fulfilling and enlightening on many levels. It does, however, come at a pay rate that is significantly less than he was making in Enterprise Sales. This is not entirely bad news since a large percentage of the compensation in a sales role is based on commission and while my husband has always been very successful, he also could never really count on that commission until deals were done, contracts signed, and clients were in the process of paying for the products and services he provided, whereas in his role today, he has a guaranteed income that is enough for us to live on for years to come as well as the potential for a bonus that is equal to a minimum of 25% of his overall salary based on company performance.
Unfortunately, yesterday his company abruptly lost its largest client and hence took a potential revenue hit of 30%. This forced the company to lay off many hardworking individuals to stay afloat and although my husband’s job security is not affected, his salary will be. There is little to no chance of actually realizing the bonus this year and he may potentially be asked to take a pay cut.
I feel that we are still incredibly lucky to both be employed, making relatively good salaries, but this is just so hard for me to handle right now. I wanted to be in a really good place financially when this baby is born. I feel a little guilty for complaining, because we are in a much better position than many people are. We also have the privilege of living in a lovely home on lots of land and having many nice things. The trouble is, none of that matters to me anymore. I just want to be good parents to our child and if my husband’s income potential decreases, I feel that mine will have to increase to provide for the family. In a way this is good, because I need a wake up call to get me out of this ridiculous job I am in now. I need to be doing more with my mind, my abilities and my experience. The scary part is, I feel very stuck. I am 20 weeks pregnant. There is no question I’m pregnant, and even if I could pass it off, I would feel very awkward applying for positions and not mentioning the fact that in a few short months I will be taking three months off. It sounds as though I am overly stressed about this, but I really am not, I am calm, (because we are well prepared for financial hiccups and we can survive long term on a new reduced salary) but I am also thinking about the options on a nearly constant basis trying to find the best answers.
Many people would say to cut our expenses. I have considered this option. The difficult part of this is that we are not in a position where we can’t pay our mortgage. We easily can pay our mortgage, we are just living on less that we would like. This makes it incredibly foolish to do something like sell our house right now at a time when the housing market is so damaged that we would likely lose money on our house. I think maybe the answer is that we just need to get used to not having a lot of the extras that we are used to until things pick back up and watch the little expenditures more carefully.
I suppose now might also be the time to have a confidential discussion with our Head of Research in my office. I need to begin looking at a career path again. I got caught up in a fantasy of taking advantage of this menial position by possibly working part time or some other solution to spend more time with the baby, but I think I will need to put in my 40 hours a week and collect my benefits, so that we can be the best parents possible when we are home with the little one. I really would like to move up to a different role here in my own company. It allows me the ability to stay on the same great benefits as well as the flexibility to make a move now or wait until after the baby is born. My concern is that an entry level Research position (which is likely what I am qualified for at this time) may pay less than I actually make now. Although the ultimate career path is more lucrative, there is often a pay decrease when moving from a high level administrative role to an entry level role even in a higher level job description. All those questions could probably be answered with a short meeting with our Head of Research, but that is a bit risky as well, since it would need to remain confidential. I need to make sure no one gets wind of the fact that I’m “unsatisfied” with my position. We are still very vulnerable to layoffs, so I don’t want to throw up a red flag that I might be a flight risk, particularly in my “condition”.
I wish I had all the answers. I wish I knew that my husband’s company would rebound effectively from this blow and in six months, he would be back on track to make the salary I know he feels the most comfortable with. Again, I am thankful for all the things we do have. I’m also VERY thankful that I am pregnant which, in a way, is the reason I have all these issues to worry about. We are still in a very stable financial position to raise a child. He just may not have the fancy stroller and furniture I was hoping for. I suppose I can attest to the fact that there is no correlation between nice baby things, and a happy child.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
18 Weeks 3 Days
Finally, I can welcome myself to the part of the second trimester where I feel really great! I have not had any queasiness, I am sleeping well, and I generally feel really good. I am having some minor complaints with regard to (ahem) constipation as well as brutally sore feet by the end of the day, but all in all, I feel like myself again. The best news is, I can actually stomach food that is good for me. I’ve been eating spinach salads, fruit, fish (in moderation), and other good foods not in the pizza food group.
I have also joined the gym in my building, something I should have done ages ago. There is no contract or initiation fee, so I just pay for the months I want. This is perfect, since I’m just not sure what each month of this pregnancy will bring in terms of ability to exercise. So far, I have only done walking and some light weights. I may never do more than that, but I think any kind of movement is good for me. Once May 15th rolls around it will be warm enough to use our pool at home and I can relax and exercise in the water (in complete privacy, yay, major plus) until the baby is due.
After all my complaining about my job, I have had a major revelation in the last two weeks. Yes, I hate what I’m doing (I don’t actually dread going to work, but I’m ashamed of the work I have been reduced to), but I’ve come to realize that I’m in this job because it’s where I’m supposed to be during and immediately after my pregnancy. I get the wonderful benefit of being able to dress in fairly comfortable attire (jeans on Fridays, dress slacks and a simple top every other day). I sit most of the day, so my weekend frustrations with horribly achy feet are generally eased. I also don’t have to be held to stressful deadlines or attend meetings or otherwise be “on”. I can sit back and handle things at a pace that works well for me.
The best part is…no one said I have to do this forever. I can get a job as a teacher once the baby is born (I am certified to teach any subject 4-8th grade, including math and science). I could call some of my old contacts and reenter the technology space, or even the equipment leasing industry, which is where a lot of my talents and interests lie, I could also just move up in the company I’m in to a research role. This would be a bigger role with a lot of new challenges. It’s all up to me. I’m not stuck here. I’m taking the great benefits, salary and flexibility and fitting it into my life as a nice low maintenance complement to an otherwise full life.
In other news, I’m really needing maternity clothes. I’ve already bought quite a few things, but it’s amazing how often I’m repeating things. I guess I will buy a few things each month as the seasons change. We live in a warmer climate with brutal summers, so there is no sense in buying a ton of things now, because even a ¾ sleeve will be out of the question once May hits and it’s 90 degrees. One thing I’m struggling with is my (TMI alert) nipples! I cannot keep these babies contained. When wearing a light colored shirt I have the appearance of someone who is very, very cold. I have certainly experienced some changes in that area, and my husband remarks almost daily on the size of my nipples (in a sweet and appreciative way, he loves boobs). I just thought these maternity bras I bought would be more adept at controlling this look. I hate to buy more bras, but there is no way I’m going to survive a July in this heat (often 105 degrees every day) without being able to wear a light colored shirt.
I have also joined the gym in my building, something I should have done ages ago. There is no contract or initiation fee, so I just pay for the months I want. This is perfect, since I’m just not sure what each month of this pregnancy will bring in terms of ability to exercise. So far, I have only done walking and some light weights. I may never do more than that, but I think any kind of movement is good for me. Once May 15th rolls around it will be warm enough to use our pool at home and I can relax and exercise in the water (in complete privacy, yay, major plus) until the baby is due.
After all my complaining about my job, I have had a major revelation in the last two weeks. Yes, I hate what I’m doing (I don’t actually dread going to work, but I’m ashamed of the work I have been reduced to), but I’ve come to realize that I’m in this job because it’s where I’m supposed to be during and immediately after my pregnancy. I get the wonderful benefit of being able to dress in fairly comfortable attire (jeans on Fridays, dress slacks and a simple top every other day). I sit most of the day, so my weekend frustrations with horribly achy feet are generally eased. I also don’t have to be held to stressful deadlines or attend meetings or otherwise be “on”. I can sit back and handle things at a pace that works well for me.
The best part is…no one said I have to do this forever. I can get a job as a teacher once the baby is born (I am certified to teach any subject 4-8th grade, including math and science). I could call some of my old contacts and reenter the technology space, or even the equipment leasing industry, which is where a lot of my talents and interests lie, I could also just move up in the company I’m in to a research role. This would be a bigger role with a lot of new challenges. It’s all up to me. I’m not stuck here. I’m taking the great benefits, salary and flexibility and fitting it into my life as a nice low maintenance complement to an otherwise full life.
In other news, I’m really needing maternity clothes. I’ve already bought quite a few things, but it’s amazing how often I’m repeating things. I guess I will buy a few things each month as the seasons change. We live in a warmer climate with brutal summers, so there is no sense in buying a ton of things now, because even a ¾ sleeve will be out of the question once May hits and it’s 90 degrees. One thing I’m struggling with is my (TMI alert) nipples! I cannot keep these babies contained. When wearing a light colored shirt I have the appearance of someone who is very, very cold. I have certainly experienced some changes in that area, and my husband remarks almost daily on the size of my nipples (in a sweet and appreciative way, he loves boobs). I just thought these maternity bras I bought would be more adept at controlling this look. I hate to buy more bras, but there is no way I’m going to survive a July in this heat (often 105 degrees every day) without being able to wear a light colored shirt.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)