Childbirth Class

We attended an awesome prepared childbirth class at the hospital last weekend. I always assumed that this class would be primarily review, and I planned to go for my husband’s benefit more than my own. I couldn’t have been more pleasantly surprised with the content. The class did have a great deal of review. My husband kept whispering that I should be taking notes, but I reminded him that the things that were being discussed were things I could recite anytime without notes, but I was so happy that he was engaged enough to be listening that way. So, we went through the obligatory informational part of the class, and got that out of the way, which is when I feel the real value came in.

I went into this class pretty scared of the idea of getting this baby out of my body. I had plans to get to the hospital when it was appropriate, manage through the pain until it seemed like an epidural would be welcome, and then get the epidural and chill through the rest. I knew pushing would be exhausting, but I didn’t really expect it to be terribly painful, and I was just hopeful that I could handle the whole process without a great deal of pain, trauma or fear.

The other idea that I had before I went into the class was that it would be extremely convenient to simply schedule an induction for the birth. This would allow me to give my family dates that they could come visit and I could schedule the time off work appropriately. I also wouldn’t have to worry about going into active labor at 1am or my doctor being unavailable at the time. Of course, there is always the chance that the baby would decide to come earlier than the induction, but I’ve always had the hunch that he would come late. My mom was 2+ weeks late with all three of us and my sister was induced about 12 days past her due date. My doctor won’t allow me to go more than 2 weeks late, but I figured I would just schedule the induction for about 2 days after my due date.

After an 8 hour class with a lovely doula/nurse/lactation consultant at the hospital, I have changed my mind completely on both of these items. Melissa gave us so much information about the benefits of allowing labor to begin on its own. I could write pages if I tried to go through it all, but it made so much sense to me. Here is an article that covers many of the items she discussed.

http://www.lamaze.org/ChildbirthEducators/ResourcesforEducators/CarePracticePapers/LaborBeginsOnItsOwn/tabid/487/Default.aspx

I am now very much dedicated to letting labor begin on its own. In fact, I will be disappointed if I must induce because I’m going so late, but not disappointed enough to put the baby at risk. My hope is that if we’re already 2 weeks late, then the baby won’t be too terribly unwilling to come out, like he might have been if we induced a week early.

The other thing I have really changed my mind on is the epidural. Now I’m not suggesting that I’ve committed myself to a drug-free birth. I wish I was brave enough to commit to that, but I’m not. What I am saying is that I am committed to trying to do this birth without an epidural, but if I need it at some point, I won’t beat myself up for “caving in”. I used to think inducing and epidurals gave me the largest amount of control that I could have in my birth experience, but after reading all this information, I feel just the opposite. Being hooked up to IV’s, monitors and catheters put me in a position where I am completely powerless to use my own body to help get this baby down and out. I’m totally at the mercy of the doctors and nurses. I still am very trusting of medical professionals and I’m not in any way trying to say that I would prefer to run the show rather than them, but the fact is, this is not a malfunction or a sickness in my body that needs to be treated. My body was designed to perform this function. I feel that giving my body the chance to actually participate in this without immediately stripping myself of all control makes sense for both me and for baby.

For this (still intimidating) process, my husband and I have enlisted the services of a doula. We feel that there is no downside to having her there and she can help us carry out our plans the way we want them and also provide me with a great deal of support.

Update 31 weeks 3 days

So far the third trimester has been my favorite. I know this is likely to change in the next 8 weeks or so, but it really has been the best so far. In the first trimester, I was miserable with all-day sickness and fatigue, but I had to keep my misery to myself for the most part and put on a happy face for work and everything. Plus the first trimester went by so slowly. I feel like I can remember every single day. I was so stressed about making to the 2nd trimester and I wanted the nausea to go away so much that it really dragged on forever.

The second trimester, I felt much better than the first, but it was just kind of boring. I still didn’t really look genuinely pregnant. Strangers would take a second glance at my belly, but no one seemed to be willing to say anything for fear of being wrong. I also became pretty uncomfortable moving around and sleeping at this stage, but everyone seemed to constantly remind me how great I should be feeling, so I was just waiting for everything to get worse. I did begin to feel movement in the second trimester, but it was still so surreal that it was hard to equate those taps to an actual person inside me.

Now in my third trimester, I’m definitely uncomfortable getting up and laying in bed and getting in and out of the car, etc, but it’s because I have a big BABY in the way. Everyone can see the reason for my discomfort and it somehow validates it. I have to pee all the time, but I don’t care because I have a big BABY crushing my bladder. I can feel the constant movements of the baby and they can be so strong that they are uncomfortable, but it makes me feel like I’m getting to know him a bit. I still find the whole thing surreal, but even looking at my belly, the little creature inside is starting to resemble a small baby, not just some unknown bumping feeling. I am starting to get big enough now that I have to be very careful about how much I eat in one sitting or I am incredibly bloated and uncomfortable for the rest of the day. Again though, this is all due to this growing baby that is taking up all the room inside me. I don’t mind sharing with him.

I am not generally fond of being the center of attention, and actually find situations where this is the case somewhat uncomfortable, but for some reason it doesn’t bother me that everywhere I go, strangers strike up conversations with me about the little one in my tummy. Not a day goes by where I’m not asked a question or given a piece of advice or just generally admired for my pregnant state. It is such a reminder that pregnancy is a special time. It is even more special to be pregnant for the first time. The third trimester has just treated me well. I am hopeful that I can continue to enjoy it for as long as possible before I’m counting the days for this little one to come out.

28 Weeks 2 Days

Finally I have surpassed the 28 week milestone. I have set little mini-goals throughout this pregnancy to pass the many weeks more quickly, and 28 weeks was kind of the last one I had in my mind. I guess my next goal would be to get to 31 weeks so I can stop my Lovenox injections. After that it would probably be 37 weeks, so I can be considered full term. Time is definitely passing more quickly. I’m growing so quickly now that it’s noticeable to people who have only been away from me for a week. I’m also starting to feel more in touch with this baby because of the changes he’s going through.

In the past 2-3 days the movement I feel from the baby has changed from kicks and pokes to a much more pronounced rolling and pressing feeling. Although many of his kicks were visible from the outside, the rolls are just amazing. It is almost like I can picture him as I watch my tummy contort and move from one side to the other. I’m not yet able to identify parts of the body or anything, but I will see a large movement that changes the entire shape of my bump. I am still having trouble grasping the concept that in just a couple months, I will be holding a baby, but this movement is making it a bit easier to believe that I'm not just having abdominal rumblings.

We are slowly but surely acquiring the many items that will be necessary to care for and feed this tiny bundle of joy. I am still at a loss as to what this baby will be wearing most of the time in his early days here. I have swaddle blankets, sleep sacks, footed, long sleeved onesie sleepers, etc, but I’m not sure which if any will be his preferred sleeping gear. I also have many clothes, but I’m unclear on things such as whether pants will be a necessity with a short sleeved onesie in the middle of summer. I am enough of a planner that I would prefer to have too many options than too few options, and I would prefer not to have to shop for clothes for the little one when I’m just trying to survive his first couple of weeks, so I’m a bit confused about exactly what to do. I also am confused about sizes. Obviously newborn is very small (and most people say there should only be a few things in this size), but is the next size 0-3 or 3-6, and is a size “3 months” equivalent to a 0-3 or a 3-6. Clearly the 6 month sized items would be too big for a newborn, but could I pull off some slightly larger items in a pinch or do I need to have enough newborn things to actually get him through. This is only the beginning of my confusion. I have several questions about all the other categories of items too. It’s making me a bit crazy.

The hives/rash or whatever on my face is beginning to clear up. It’s mostly gone actually, but still a bit itchy and noticeable if you look closely. It has now spread thoroughly to my legs, arms, ankles wrists and hands. I could go completely insane trying not to scratch this. The doctor suspects poison ivy, but I can’t imagine that is the case since I have not spent much time in any areas that even could have poison ivy. No matter what though he said this is atopic dermatitis of some sort and we are basically stuck letting it run it’s course. I would suspect PUPPs, but it seems my husband may have a few splotches of it as well, plus it started on my face and I think PUPPs is uncommon on the face. Other than this inconvenience, I’m feeling really good this week. No real complaints. YAY! So far the third trimester is my favorite (although people tell me that will change in a few weeks, I’m sure they’re right).

27 weeks 2 days

For my 27 week update I want to document a few of my symptoms for my own benefit later on. I am still feeling pretty good. I certainly don’t feel un-pregnant, but I don’t feel miserable either. My biggest issues are the following:

• Constipation (or just general difficulty in that area). It doesn’t matter what I eat or how much I drink, I have trouble there.
• Heartburn – This is a constant battle for me. Again, it doesn’t seem to matter at all what I eat or if I lay down too soon or stay sitting up, etc. I just have this constant burning of acid in the back of my throat. I have found that gum is a very good remedy for this. I’m not sure if it actually helps it or just makes it less noticeable, but it is my go-to when the heartburn starts. I just can’t pop 10 Tums every time I feel it and it takes about 10 to do any good.
• Sore feet – I have found that I simply cannot stand up and walk around and do errands like I could before I was pregnant. My body will tolerate about ½ the number of hours on my feet that it used to and that number is dwindling. Every weekend, I am nearly unable to walk by the end of the day simply from being up and around all day.
• Hives/Rash/Eczema? - A recent, and very unfortunate development. I woke up last Wednesday with what appeared to be a rash all over the right side of my face. This evolved into large swollen welts by Thursday. It really looked and felt like hives. They itch like crazy. Over the weekend it started to remind me of eczema, but I cannot be sure. I will endure anything to get this baby here and in the grand scheme, this symptom is very minor, but from a vanity perspective, it has taken a toll on me. It looks like a very large, severe acne breakout. In addition to my face, I have other areas which are now getting itchy bumps such as my legs, shoulders, inside my elbow, etc. I also have two common eczema sites that have flared up. I am going to the doctor today, but I really don’t expect a resolution. I’m just going to rule out anything that could be threatening to the pregnancy.
• Lack of hunger – This is kind of convenient since my whole life I’ve required food every couple of hours. It seems the baby is pushing in my stomach or something and I just don’t have the desire to eat as much. I’m definitely still taking in a good amount of calories, because I kind of like to eat, so I’m still doing it, it’s just nice not to have to deal with being hungry every 2 hours.

I think that’s all the main symptoms. I do have a lot of trouble bending over and I’ve become annoyingly clumsy. I also struggle turning over in bed, getting in and out of the car, and other small things like that.

I am starting to feel like nesting. I’m sure this isn’t the tell-tale instinct that signals the end of a pregnancy, but I’m overcome with an urge to get ready for baby by cleaning out closets and drawers, purchasing items for caring for him, and generally get the house ready to go.

I’ve been browsing books that will give me some guidance on the first several weeks of having the baby at home. I’ve heard of several books but I’m having trouble picking them because of the fact that there is some seriously controversial stuff written about newborn care. I have heard good things about Baby Wise from real people, but when I read the reviews, there were nearly as many horrible reviews as there were great reviews. This concerns me, but I do like the idea of structure, which this book seems to help design. I also have heard good things about the Happiest Baby on the Block, but some say it’s only good for the first few weeks and generally the information is pretty light. I think I’ll get both of these books and try to extract the good stuff from them both and ignore the advice I find irrelevant or inappropriate. I suppose women had to feel their way through this experience without books for decades, so I’m sure everything will be fine.

26 weeks 1 day

I have been so busy at work (and at home) that I have simply not had a chance to post anything for a while. I'm grateful for the distraction that a busy workday can provide. I still can't honestly say that the weeks are flying by, but I'm definitely feeling a little pressure to get things done and I don't feel like time has stopped like I did in my first trimester.

I ordered our nursery furniture last week, and we were able to pick up the crib right from the store. This was a very big step for us because I have always felt that a purchase like that was way too significant to do if we weren't actually going to be bringing a baby home. I guess I'm starting to believe it's actually going to happen. Of course, said furniture will not arrive for 8-10 weeks, so by the time it actually arrives, it's really going to be time. I wish we hadn't waited so long. The crib is assembled and in the nursery now. We also were able to get our glider this past weekend and that was assembled yesterday. I set that up in our living room, so I could enjoy it while watching tv and hanging out with hubby before the baby comes. I absolutely love it and I'm dreaming about sitting in it later today as I power through the last hour or so of work.

I am starting to feel the nesting instinct kick in. I've been cleaning closets (a chore I absolutely dread when not nesting), and I'm making little purchases each week to fulfill our enormous baby needs in time. We were actually very lucky to receive several large items from my sister. She sent an infant car seat, a convertible car seat, a breast pump, a Baby Bjorn, a bouncy chair, a crib mattress, several crib sheets and playard sheets, and a pretty good sized box of clothes. My sister's baby was a girl, so much of her stuff is girly, but everything she sent was unisex or neutral and there were enough boy clothes to really put a dent in my list of things I need, so I'm feeling extremely blessed.

I don't believe I will be having a shower at all because my family and friends are all out of state and I don't want to travel, so other than a few things here and there, we won't be receiving big gifts from people. That being said, my parents bought us our pack n play, my in-laws bought us the glider, a friend of my mother-in-law was extremely generous and bought us a pack n play as well (the registry update was delayed just enough to cause that duplication), which I exchanged for the bedding we picked for the crib (they'll never know the pack n play we have isn't the one they bought). Generally, I feel that we have a good start and if I spread the remaining purchases over the next 14 weeks, we should be able to fairly painlessly get all the stuff we need.

I also have had a compelling urge to prepare my diaper bag and the changing area for the baby. This makes little sense right now, because I don't even have a changing table yet, but I just feel like I want to get all that stuff ready. I'm trying to redirect that odd desire to more practical things like freezing some meals for my first couple of weeks with the baby. I am not one of those people who enjoys a weekend full of cooking and freezing. I would much rather make double dinners every weekend between now and delivery and freeze those instead. My biggest challenge is finding food we will want in August that also freezes well. August temps where I live are typically 100-105, so a lot of good freezable meals like soups and lasagna may not be good choices.

I start my third trimester either this Sunday or the next Sunday (depending on which method you use to calculate it), and I'm so excited. I've finally, finally graduated to the point where perfect strangers feel comfortable asking me when I'm due instead of curiously eyeing my bump not sure what to say. I'm sort of looking forward to them seeing me in the next few weeks as I get bigger than ever. I will say though, whenever I comment on another pregnant woman's body or bump in the future, I will be very careful about how I word it, so as not to offend, because it's amazing the things people will say.

Baby Movement

This post got delayed from being published, so the dates are off, but it was still an exciting discovery, so I decided to post it anyway.

Sunday night for the first time (23 weeks exactly) I SAW the baby kicking from the outside! I had been on my feet all day long doing various things around the house and out side and I literally had not taken any time to sit down. I finally got dinner ready around 8pm and sat down on the couch in front of the TV with my husband (I know…bad) and all of a sudden someone was up and ready to move around. It was the longest and hardest activity session I have felt so far. I just could not believe some of the sucker punches I was getting. I pulled up my shirt to look and sure enough, my belly was popping up when he would kick me. I tried to get my husband in on this action, and he did feel a couple small taps, but he missed all the big kicks. It was amazing and just makes this experience even more real.

Shopping for Baby

Now that we’ve hit the second half of the pregnancy, I feel like there are hundreds of things that we need to get done before I get too big to be interested in doing anything. I also can’t help but be worried about having this baby early (even though deep down I think I’m more likely to go late). I just want to make sure everything is ready. I’m a planner, so I do not want to wait until the last minute for any of these items.

I have several priorities right now that need to be addressed in the next couple of weeks. We need to get carpet in the baby’s room, but before we do that, I suppose we should paint, so we can be sloppy about it if we want to. We also need to make a decision on furniture for the nursery. It is so hard to do this without being able to devote a lot of time to shopping, and right now with our jobs and our weekend responsibilities around the house, we just haven’t had much time. Once we get the nursery under control, I feel that I could move forward on buying all the other million things that this tiny person is going to need.

We have also spent quite a bit of time searching for some of our bigger items and trying to make decisions on them. I think we are finally decided on our stroller and our infant seat. I still need to research and decide on our pack n play/playyard, rocker/glider, baby monitor and camera system as well as a breast pump. I think those are the big items. I know that all the little items may actually be more overwhelming and when combined still add up to quite a sum of money, but since they aren’t as expensive, making the perfect decision doesn’t seem as stressful.

For our stroller, after a long process, I think we’ve decided on the City Mini. I really wanted the City Elite because of it’s smooth ride, shocks, larger tires, more upscale look, etc, but ultimately I think that the City Mini will be more practical for our life. It is 10lbs less, (16lbs vs 26lbs), it is generally smaller and I think the ease of use will win out over the more luxurious ride of the Elite.

I think we have also decided on the Chicco Keyfit 30 for our infant seat. This decision was based on consumer reports research, user reviews and ease of use. It seems the Chicco is the easiest seat to just plop down into the base. I am somewhat disappointed that it often will not fit on the grocery cart, but I think all the other good things about it make it a good choice despite that one flaw although I hear people say that perching your infant on top of a grocery cart isn’t exactly safe anyway, so I guess maybe it’s not such a bad thing that we can’t do it.

It was exhausting just making these two decisions final, so I’m very eager to get the other bigger items out of the way. The nursery furniture is the next thing on the list and it simply must be figured out in the next couple of weeks. I’m giving myself a goal of having the entire nursery selected (paint, carpet and furniture) by April 24th. I would like everything to be in the nursery assembled by mid-May. That should be plenty of time before baby is due to arrive.