It's a ...??

We went to see our high risk specialist for an anatomy scan. I was secretly hoping we would learn the sex of the baby, but I really hated to get my hopes up since I was only 16 weeks 5 days at the time. I definitely didn’t want to hear the sex was one thing, then find out 4 weeks later that it’s something else. I would rather just not know, but I still was hoping a little.

We got to spend a lot of time with the little one during the scan. Everything is still checking out perfectly normal. All the measurements were perfect. The baby weighs 8oz (which is higher than my books say is normal, but I’m not sure how accurate the estimate is or how much babies vary at this age). There is still a small remnant of our little guy who didn’t make it. He looks so tiny compared to our healthy baby. Due to the presence of the fetal parts and placenta, we were unable to do the quad screen which was the last screening available to us. I’m not sure we will be able to do it at our next appointment since we will be over 20 weeks by then. This is really fine. I’m not too would up about that part of it anyway. For some reason, my biggest fears lie in my own body’s ability to support a pregnancy, not in the chromosomal makeup of the baby. Of course, I know there are risks, but I’m not terribly fearful of them, so I’m ok with waiting until the baby arrives.

So after a long scan and many measurements, the doctor asked us if we were hoping for a girl or a boy. I could tell she had found some evidence of one or the other. I told her that we really didn’t care, but that I thought it was a girl. Right as I said it, the doctor said, “Not with this thing he isn’t” and she revealed the “package” of our son. My husband whipped out his phone and started texting everyone he knew. The doctor made some sort of comment about how this boy wasn’t modest and how easy it was to find, which only fed into my husbands “Boy ego”. He was so thrilled. We got about five pictures of the little pee pee. I was in disbelief, but so excited. It’s true that it makes it so much more real. I really think I was kind of hoping for a boy as well, because I couldn’t believe how happy I was when she announced this. Maybe I would have felt that either way though.

Because this is just how I operate, there is this tiny part of me that says what if she’s wrong? What if she’s looking at the umbilical cord. Of course, this is a perinatalogist who makes her living (and has for many years) studying ultrasounds to find minor imperfections in tiny in utero babies. I think she would know a penis when she sees one. On top of that, I can see it with my own eyes. The only reason I even worry about her being wrong is because now that I know it’s a boy, I’m feeling “boy”. I think it would be kind of weird to switch that feeling to “girl”. The doctor gave us no reason whatsoever to doubt her, so I’m going with it. It’s never for sure until a baby with boy parts pops out. For the most part, I have come to realize and accept fully that I am carrying a boy child, and we’re so excited.

What a fun day to share with my husband. We’ve even almost picked a name. I’m just not sure if something else might come up that we like better, so I’m waiting to reveal it, but we’ve got one in mind. Everything is so much more fun when you can start the planning for baby stage of the pregnancy. It seems reckless almost to proceed and leave my fears of losing this baby behind, but I think for my own enjoyment, I’m going to start the planning phase.