Just a little work rant

I’m not loving my job right now. I am in no position to complain, I mean, I have a job during one of the worst times in history for unemployment. I also don’t “hate” my job, I just don’t feel fulfilled. It’s easy for me to find the positive aspects in my choices and remember why I am here, but there are days where I resent the work. My job is actually fairly easy, yet fast moving and interesting, so it doesn’t bore me. It is something I can leave at the office every day and not worry about from home. It is something that probably will not require me (or even offer me) to take on more responsibilities in the future. I will likely receive a pay raise each year, and I think it’s relatively secure.

Sooooo what’s the problem?? Right??

I guess maybe I need to feel more important than this, or I need to feel like I’m using the education that I spent time and money on. I sometimes cannot believe this is what my life has come to.

I am an executive assistant. This role allows me to be in contact with some very important people with very well known large companies, but I am always bowing down to these people and always addressing them as Mr. or Ms. and always doing the most petty little things for them. I am good at this kind of work, so it should be a perfect fit, but there are days where I remember where I was only one short year ago and I just cannot believe it.

Last year, I was running the accessories and services business for a large technology reseller. I was well respected and I had two people reporting to me. I was designing advertising and sales strategies for large, well known vendor partners and collecting hundreds of thousands of dollars monthly for the business to act as the relationship manager. The truth of the matter is I HATED IT. There were days where I thoroughly enjoyed the work of course, but most of the time it took way too many hours a day, it required at least one week/month travel, and the expectations were set so high that I think they were nearly impossible to meet even if I had worked 70 hours a week. I just think I was proud to have that job.

My current job shockingly pays almost as much, requires no travel, is almost strictly 8:30-5:30, has unbelievable benefits, and really is a good fit for my work/life balance. Why can’t I just get used to the fact that sometimes finding a good work/life balance requires fetching coffee, heating up my boss’s lunch, sending a check to his child’s soccer team coach and coordinating the family’s trip to Florence (yes, I mean his family, not mine). I absolutely need to focus on my priorities.

1. Family (my husband and this baby) – being there for them and being present in their lives both mentally and physically. This job gives me the ability to be home each night with my mind on the house and family only (no worrying about work)
2. Insurance – I have lived so much of my life with less than fantastic insurance, that I have now come to realize how very valuable and important a “Cadillac” insurance policy is. This job has the best insurance I have seen in a long time.
3. Money – I need to make enough money to fill the gap between what my husband makes alone and the lifestyle we enjoy. I know it would be fine if we downsized our life to fit the (still very good) income that my husband makes on his own, but I like the idea of contributing financially to the family. I get nervous that I would feel like my spending was being scrutinized if I didn’t bring in my own income. I also enjoy the benefits that come with the extra income. I think I will appreciate my time with the baby more since I’m not home 24/7 with him/her. This job gives me a respectable income with none of the pitfalls that come with “bigger” jobs.

So there it is. When I read this back to myself, I sound like a spoiled brat. I have the ideal situation and the fact that I have made haircut appointments for my boss and his children and ordered my boss’s wife’s birthday cake this morning shouldn’t eat away at me. I mean, hello, I’m getting paid to be a “work wife”. I couldn’t get paid to be a home wife.

To keep it in perspective, I also have a great deal of inside, sensitive knowledge about large publicly traded companies, and I set up several meetings this week for very high level executives for Fortune 500 companies, and all these men and women know me on a first name basis…although I’ll never call them their first name, that would simply be inappropriate for someone so far beneath them. Such is the life of an executive assistant.