More Waiting...Still Pregnant 7 Weeks 4 Days

Well, here I am again, waiting…this time I’m waiting for my second ultrasound. If someone had told me that being pregnant was almost as bad with all the waiting as infertility, I never would have believed them. (I would still choose waiting while pregnant, over waiting while infertile though, I will never forget where I came from.) I do feel pregnant, but I don’t at all feel comfortable about it yet. I feel like I’m dancing on the edge of a cliff and I could lose everything in a moment. I’m also still worried about “little guy”. I really want my smaller embryo to catch up or at least continue to develop so we don’t have to worry so much about him. I cannot stress enough how incredibly happy I am to have finally gotten this far. This is a huge milestone, and to see heartbeats is beyond amazing. I’m not sure I ever thought I would get here, but I just can’t quite breathe easily yet. I hope the end of this trimester will bring me some relief, but I know myself well enough to suspect that I will find something else to be nervous about at that point.

My doctor took me off my PIO injections and switched me to oral this week. Of course, I couldn’t be happier to set aside those needles, my ice pack, my heating pad, etc, hopefully forever, but it makes me nervous too. I would have gladly continued those shots for the duration of this pregnancy if it was necessary. In addition, they took me off the estrogen patches. Those little satan patches can go away and never return if you ask me. I never thought I would prefer an intramuscular injection over an innocent looking transdermal patch, but let me tell you, after wearing 5 of these at a time for the last 5 weeks, my abdomen is a complete mess. I have scratched these patch locations until they bleed plenty of times. My sensitive skin has rejected the tape (or the bacteria that eventually settles in after 3 days) to the point where it appears there is a large raised hive in the shape of a patch after I’ve removed them (patch area picture coming soon). Yet...it scares me to have them gone. Supposedly, somewhere in that little pregnancy sac, there is a mini-hormone factory. I just hope it’s up and running smoothly because we removed the safety net and took off the training wheels.

These last few days/weeks, I have felt consistently queasy. It’s more intense and very obviously there. The bigger problem for me though are the food aversions. I have no interest in any food. I have to run meal options through my mind until I finally arrive at one that doesn't exacerbate the nausea. I usually find something, but it’s usually NOT what I want to be feeding these babies (pizza has sounded consistently non-gag inducing). Yesterday and today, I’ve really been trying to keep it healthier, but it’s so hard. I hope this passes before I’ve starved these little ones of all the nutrition they need. I have been making sure I’m drinking lots of water, and I’m forcing myself to eat a few fruits and vegetables each day. Protein is a real problem for me, but I’m trying to get more creative there. It’s all worth it, I just thought I would be the picture of a perfect pregnant woman. Eating all the perfect nutrition and exercising lightly, doing some yoga, glowing, patting my belly, talking to the little ones, and all I can do is eat pizza and fall asleep on the couch the second I’ve finished my dinner.