BFP! I'm in disbelief

Maybe I should have posted this right away when I got my first BFP, so I could have captured those first raw feelings, but I was almost afraid to do anything for fear that the line may not be there the next day. The second day I saw that beautiful line again and still worried that it could begin to get fainter and fainter. Today, the line is much darker and while I’m still taking this day by day, I’m going to go ahead and post this so I can begin to journal my feelings. After all, that is really what this blog is for me, a journal to help me remember what my feelings were at different points in my journey.


I can tell you that my feelings today are of overwhelming gratitude and relief and excitement. Unlike the blissful fertile, bopping around looking at maternity clothes and cribs and dreaming about baby names, I will just be cautiously optimistic for a while, maybe until I’m giving birth to a live baby.


The one thing I can say for absolutely certain…we’ve never been this far before. That is huge for me. I know that there are people who experience chemical pregnancies and miscarriages and they may think I’m crazy, but I view this as taking a step forward. Don’t get me wrong, I will be absolutely crushed if anything happens to that beautiful pee-stained second line, but I will have been given a gift of hope…the hope that I can one day have a pregnancy that will reach my ultimate goal of a live baby.


So, getting down to business here. The picture below is 5dp5dt. The line is quite difficult to see on the screen and it was definitely faint on the test, but I think it was easier to see in person.

This picture (see below) is today’s test. The line is really getting darker.

As much as I would love to have very little nausea during this pregnancy, like every other woman grasping at straws, when I feel it, I’m a little excited. I honestly didn’t think I would feel any until 6 weeks, but today, I definitely was queasy. It was not debilitating and I’m sure it’s going to get worse, but it was uncomfortable enough that I know I was not imagining it. I was definitely shaky and had that throat closing feeling where you’re burping a lot and breathing through it. The good news was eating a little helped and it passed by 10 or 11am and I haven’t felt it again today.

Can't wait to test tomorrow morning!