Trial Transfer

Yesterday, I endured my trial transfer. To be clear, I hate any kind of procedure. I absolutely dread having my teeth cleaned, bloodwork is a constant battle for me, even pap smears get me all wound up. This procedure was no different. I worked myself up into quite an anxious bundle of nerves before the speculum even went in. In the end though, it really was no big deal. There was a little bit of cramping when the tiny catheter touched the back of my uterus, but certainly nothing to get nervous about. In fact, I’m sure it pales in comparison to some of the things I’m preparing to put my body through over the next year.

My Lupron injections begin tomorrow. As much as I’m nervous about this whole cycle and the time away from the office, I’m also excited to experience this. While of course I wish that I could be like all my friends and just get pregnant the month I go off the pill. It might even be fun to sit around trying to decide when the most convenient due date might be so I could time everything to my own preferences. Oh, and since I would be so ultra-fertile, I could maybe even adjust my timing to better my chances for boy or a girl. Alas, none of these is an option for me. On the other hand, though, the miracle of God and science coming together through the hands of these brilliant doctors and embryologists is something I’m excited to experience. I think in some ways I am the lucky one.

My positivity may change slightly if I find that I’m unsuccessful after multiple IVF’s though. Let’s hope we don’t have to worry about that.

Back to work after a very nice weekend. I’ve been going to a new acupuncturist. I had my second appointment with him on Saturday. Previously, I had an acupuncturist who I liked very much, but she wasn’t contracted with insurance and she doesn’t have hours outside of business hours. I’m going to miss enough work as it is with this IVF cycle, I need the acupuncture to be outside business hours. Anyway, my session was very relaxing (as usual). I wish I felt 100% sure that there was a positive impact from this. I am so practical that there is just some doubt there. I feel pretty confident, and of course, it can’t hurt. I read something just recently that acupuncture on the day of egg transfer increases the chances of implantation by like 20%. If that’s true then I would be a fool not to keep doing this.

For the rest of the weekend I spent time cleaning the house, working on the pool area with TW and we watched a movie. I also got my first issue of “Fit Pregnancy” (I’m trying to stay positive about the outcome of this cycle). I realize this probably makes me sound like a dork, but I devoured this magazine. I couldn’t put it down. I’m hopeful that between this and “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”, I can keep the positivity flowing.

My trial transfer is Wednesday and Lupron starts Friday…

I have a pretty robust understanding of the reproductive system, from menstrual cycles, to reproductive illnesses and challenges, as well as diagnostic testing and treatments that may be used. Some of this is through my own experience and some comes from the research I do to quell my insatiable appetite for more information about my illness and what I might do to overcome it. Yet, surprisingly, I really didn’t give much thought to antral follicle counts. In fact, I have no idea if a doctor has ever done a count on me, nor do I know what the outcome was if in fact it was done. This is shocking to me. It is being touted as a very good indicator of ovarian reserve, which is probably my biggest fear about my infertility since I have a borderline high FSH level and didn’t respond as well as I would have liked to my last injectible + IUI cycle. I am hopeful that since I am at the beginning of my IVF cycle, the very next time it is appropriate, the doctor will check this and give me the information so I can obsess over it.

See the below chart, I love charts like this where it is clear by looking at a number, what the effect of the information is.




It’s highly possible that I’m the last person in the infertility community to know about this, (as was the case when I found out that an avocado doesn’t go brown as quickly if you leave the pit in it, I loved this tip, but I was the only one on the planet who wasn’t already aware of it.) Just in case any of you were also left in the dark, now you know.

Waiting

Day 5 of IVF cycle. I don’t think the time could possibly pass any more slowly. I’m starting to obsess about how I will keep this cycle a secret from my co-workers. I do NOT want them to know what I’m doing since I’ve only been employed with them for 7 weeks. If I had time on my side, I would have waited a few more months, but the fact is, I’m 35. Unfortunately for women, 35 is the beginning of the end, if not the middle of the end. I need to get on with this while I still have a good chance of being successful. I also want to use this insurance now, just in case they decide to downsize the plan and eliminate infertility coverage.

IVF #1, Ready...Set...Go!

IVF #1, here we come. I am currently on Day 4 of my IVF cycle which means that nothing exciting has happened yet. I’m popping Birth Control Pills and Doxycycline for the next several days. I’m pretty nervous about this cycle. Mostly the butt-shots. I don’t know why I can’t get past those because everyone says they’re nowhere near as bad as they look, but I’m scared. Maybe it’s the thought of TW giving them to me versus an experienced medical professional.

I went back to acupuncture this past weekend as well. I hadn’t been there since I found out I was being laid-off in February. I’m going to a new doctor because it appears my insurance may actually cover both infertility and acupuncture! This is fantastic because at my previous employer, nothing was covered, I mean they paid the bare minimum if that. I worked for a large $(5 Billion dollar) company too, so it’s not like it was a little mom and pop shop. Anyway, thank you God! I feel so incredibly blessed to have this assistance with my expenses.

Other things in the news...TW and I finally tied the knot back in April, so we’re official. No more dirty looks at the Fertility clinic or church or anywhere else where people feel it’s important not to live together. (Yes, maybe some was imagined, but I love that I no longer have to worry).

I'm Back

Stay tuned for my updated posts. I'm back to blog for real this time.