Transition

I am at a loss.  I don’t know how to help my little boy transition to his new classroom at daycare.  We have been in Room 3 for about 6 months now.  He arrives at about the same time each day, goes to his chair at the table and sits down to have breakfast which I pack for him.  If we arrive later and there are more kids than usual or if we arrive (God forbid) after breakfast is over, I already know he will have a melt-down.  He likes his morning routine the way it is and doesn't want it to change.  I can totally understand this because as a kid you have no real control over what happens in your day, so if you can’t even be sure you know what to expect, it could be scary, and I can see why some would rebel against it.

So, now that B is 2 years old, we are moving him to the 2 yr old room (Room 4).  This room is adjoining with Room 3 and at breakfast time, there are not that many kids so one teacher, the teacher he has had for 6 months, manages both classrooms from 6:00 – 7:30am.  This arrangement seems like it would be a fairly easy transition.  It really only changes the table that B will sit at during his breakfast time.  Well, B is not convinced.  We started the process of moving on Monday and each day was met with more and more resistance.  In fact, each day, he wound up sitting right back in his normal chair for breakfast and just moving over to Room 4 at around 7:30 or 8:00am.  His teacher tells me that he’s not too thrilled about heading over to the other room even then, but once he gets over there, he does perfectly.

I am not opposed to letting him ease into this change this way, but I need to do something about drop off.  I either need to just accept the fact that he will not be able to eat breakfast in the new classroom right away and take him straight to his old seat, or I need to accept the fact that he’s going to throw a colossal fit and melt down completely until he gets used to the new room.  The issue I have right now is that he is rewarded by getting his way when he throws the fit, which is obviously not a good plan.  

This morning I was prepared to leave a tearful screaming child in the “big kid” room no matter what it took, but after a few minutes of screams, the daycare director told me to go ahead and let him stay in his old room for breakfast saying there was no need to make it hard on myself and on him.  I sensed that she also wanted to keep the screaming to a minimum in order to keep the daycare from getting chaotic or getting other parents concerned.  I get that, and I actually think it might be best to do it that way, but I just don’t know how we’re ever going to break this cycle.

I have googled this topic and cannot find any helpful advice.  I fear that my son might be among the stronger-willed children and/or a child who depends more heavily on a rigid structure.  He has always been less-than-thrilled when things change on him, but this is more difficult for me because I don't know how to fix it.  If he suffers because I jacked with his bedtime routine, then the next day I just go back to the old routine.  This time going back to the old routine is not an option (maybe during the transition time, but we can't be in Room 3 forever).